An open letter to the guy who I thought I knew

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It’s been a while since we last talked and honestly, I can still remember fragments of that conversation. We said some things a whole lot of awful things to each other that led us to where we both are now. Some we regret saying, some we don’t. I believe there really is a reason for everything; and in that very moment, the truth simply had to be blurted out because we needed the space to breathe. I have said and done hurtful things to you (some you may not even know) and I just want to apologize for all of it and thank you, too, for teaching me a few things.

Thank you for teaching me that an open communication between people who are in any type of relationship is as vital as their feelings towards each other. People who love us need to be able to tell us things be it good or bad, important or spur of the moment, mundane stuff without thinking it’s stupid or irrelevant. And since it’s a two-way street, we also need to have the freedom to express our thoughts without being worried about what the other person might think and say. Sharing what you feel about each other shouldn’t be a task to tick off of your To Do list everyday. Thanks for making me realize that feelings aren’t always enough to make a relationship last and that the amount of time spent together doesn’t always define strength.

I also learned that there is a super thin line between loyalty and faithfulness and it could be just me but….People can be loyal to someone, be available for them whenever you need them and be devoted to them but only a few actually remain faithful and keep their hands in their pockets. We’re all human and giving in to temptation is a solid manifestation. It’s like the last slice of pizza and you’re there just looking at it– you know you’re already full but you’re still thinking of getting it for yourself. There are people around you but no one’s actually watching so then it’s all up to you if you’re going to indulge or leave it alone and let someone else have the heavenly sin that is pizza.

And out of all the things that didn’t make the cut, the most important thing I’ve learned throughout this whole process is this: We can play safe and be ordinary in other things like washing the dishes, choosing crappy beer at the store and buying cheap wine, but I think love shouldn’t be one of them. If it doesn’t make you crazy or at least make your insides tingle then I don’t know what you’re still doing. I simply don’t know how I can stress this enough….if we are in a relationship with someone but there’s no fire or even a spark and being with them feels like a chore, then we’re merely just a breeze when we could always be a cyclone. It may not always leave us in cloud 9; it could destroy us and everything we hold close to us, but isn’t true love worth all the damage?

Thank you for teaching me this in your own way.

– G

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